Percentages

What you see here is the small portion of my room that is devoted to supplies (There are more in the fridge of course). Percentage wise, they take up a very small amount of my room. The other half of that shelving unit is crammed full of binders and books of sheet music for auditions. I also have 2 large bookshelves full of books and only 10 have to do with diabetes. The majority are musical theatre related (I have hundreds) and the others are New York travel guides, books about children's games and activites (oh the life of a nanny), novels, etc. etc.

The percentage of space diabetes takes up in my apartment is minimal. The percentage of space diabetes takes up in my daily life since June is quite significant. Some days its presence is felt more than others.

*I had my first appointment at the Naomi Berrie Diabetes Center on Friday. A1C of 6.3!!! The only thing that would've made the trip better was if I had insurance. boo.

*Went out with a bunch of friends Friday night at Social (47th & 8th) and discovered a new drink that didn't make my sugars go crazy! Blueberri Stoli and Sprite (not diet)! (I agree, it sounds gross.... but it's delicious. I swear.)

*My 19 yr. old sister flies in from Michigan tonight. She'll be here for about 3 weeks! It will give me an excuse to go see more shows and touristy sights which is always exciting. It's easy to get caught up in the day to day of Audition-Work-Home-Audition-Work-Home. rinse. and repeat. Sometimes I don't get out as much as I should in this crazy city.

*I'm getting up at 5am to go to an audition tomorrow morning. And dragging my sister with me.

*I've given myself a grand total of ONE unit of Humalog today (Only 6 units of Lantus before bed last night) and my numbers have been: 125, 82, 71, 93, 66
This honeymoon creature has a mind of his own.........

"If they asked me, I could write a book" ~Rodgers & Hart

Barnes and Noble bookstore is one of my favorite places. I consider it one of the many perks of living in New York City that I'm rarely more than 10 blocks from one. I love to browse and if I have some extra time in my day I love to grab a small stack of books and magazines and take them to the Cafe to enjoy.

When was diagnosed with diabetes this past summer, I was living in Michigan. The closest B&N was a 20 min. drive away, and we rarely got much time away from the theatre, but it was still one of the first places I visited after my diagnosis on a quest to find information. Any information. I clearly remember walking up and down the rows marked "Health" and "Medicine." Nothing. "This is strange I thought.... where else would they be?"

Oh. In the section marked: "Disease."

Isn't it funny that it had never even occured to me that books on diabetes would be in that section? My attitude after I was diagnosed was "Ok, what can I do to get healthy and feel better?" I wanted to take an active approach. I wanted a book of checklists of things that people with Type 1 need to do. I wanted stories of other people with Type 1 who were living their lives as they always had with the exception of a few adjustments. So the "Health" section made perfect sense to me.

I found myself in one of my favorite NYC Barnes & Nobles (the Lincoln Center store!) last night when I had some time to kill before meeting up with one of my very best friends who is in town for the weekend! I decided to take a look at the books on diabetes and without thinking headed to the aisle marked "Health." It took me a moment before I realized my error.

"Disease." Right.

Complications?

On Thursday, while going about my afternoon nannying routine, I felt the strangest sensation in my right leg. The entire leg felt as though it was vibrating. Not tingling like it was falling asleep, but like I had a cell phone vibrating in my right pocket. The vibrations were equally strong from my hip all the way to my toes. The feeling lasted only a few seconds and I quickly dismissed it because cupcakes from Crumbs, Valentines Day books at Barnes & Noble and CMOM were calling our names! I finished up the evening feeling fine but then felt the exact same sensation while walking home from the subway later that night.
As the evening progressed, my leg began to feel numb and strange. By the time I woke up on Friday morning I was having INTENSE pain in my right heel in addition to the general feelings of strangeness/numbness. I spent the afternoon limping around with the two little ones while wondering in the back of my mind "What is happening to me??? Is this a diabetes complication??? I was only diagnosed 6 months ago! How could this be happening already??? It couldn't!!...... Could it?"
I read everything I could find online and in my many diabetes books about neuropathy. Some things matched up, "more common in taller individuals who have longer nerve fibers to damage," "numbness," "tingling," "worsening symptoms at night." And some things didn't, "most common in people over 40," "loss of balance or coordination," "insignificant weakness."
By Saturday the pain in my heel had decreased but I now was having major pain in my calf and knee every time I went to stand up (The numbness and strangeness were still there). Weird. Sunday had much less pain but an equal amounts of "numb" and "strange." Still. Yesterday, (Monday) the pain was basically gone but the other symptoms were still there.

I spent this morning/afternoon at the NYU Neurology center being evaluated. After much pain (Needles! Stuck into my foot and leg muscles! Ow!), discomfort (lots of electrical shocking on both legs to compare), and money (a lack of insurance is a very bad thing when you have diabetes) it was proclaimed that I "Do not have any permanent nerve damage."

Great!! Thank God!!

But...... why is my foot still numb?

Has anyone experienced something similar? Know someone who has? Help! Please!

The Twilight Zone

Boy, I sure didn't plan on having enough to write about *twice* in one day.... Oh well, it will probably wear off soon enough.

LOCATION: Duane Reed Pharmacy (aka the largest drugstore chain in the NY Metropolitan area)

Me: "Hi. Where are your sharps containers?"

Pharmacist: "Our what?"

Me: (while gesturing and making a box like shape with my hands) "Sharps Containers."

Pharmacist: (mumbling) "Oh. We don't sell those. Those are illegal."

Me: *pause* *blink* "Excuse me?"

Pharmacist: "Illegal."

******Cue Twilight Zone music****


Um.... Right.



NOTE: It turned out that the teeny tiny drugstore 1/2 a block from my apartment had at least 5 (apparently illegal) sharps containers in stock for a mere $3. Quick! Someone! Call the cops!

Logic

Went quite low yesterday around dinner time while alone in my apartment.

Looking back, a logical idea would have been to dip into my massive jar of grape flavored glucose tabs. Or drink a bit of apple cider.

At the time, however, it seemed like a logical idea to take the time to make an entire box of chocolate JELL-O instant pudding as a remedy. The thing is, the process isn't really so "instant."
As I was standing there beating out the lumps and waiting for it to set my brain never once said "Give it up. Go get some glucose tabs now. You can have pudding at another time." Instead, it seemed to think that chocolate pudding was the ONLY logical solution.
So I waited. And then ate the entire batch. Overcompensate much?..... Um, yep.

Something New

The first blog post. What to say?....

I'm Cecily.

I'm 22 years old and I live in New York City. I decided to make acting (musical theatre) my career long before my diagnosis of Type 1 diabetes. I actually graduated with a degree in the field before I knew I had it. Would I have chosen this difficult career path, one known for it's lack of health insurance and benefits if I had developed the disease during childhood? Who can say? At this point I feel I've gone too far to go back so am just waiting to see what the future holds.

I was diagnosed with Type 1 about 6 months ago (mid-June 2006). I was doing summer theatre on a grueling schedule the same as I had the previous 3 summers. Working 7 days a week, rehearsing during the day and performing at night is bound to make anyone tired. No, more like flat out exhausted. So I didn't think twice about the fact that I was so exhausted it took all of my energy to keep my eyes open during the day. Then I started drinking (literally) gallons of water every day and STILL feeling thirsty. I mentioned this to my boss casually and she told me to keep an eye out for any other strange things but I pretty much dismissed the idea that the thirst actually MEANT something. "No. I'm just thirsty! I always drink a lot of water, I'm just drinking more now because of the heat!"

Fast forward a few days. I stepped into the publicity office where I worked and realized I could read absolutely NONE of the printed materials hanging on the walls literally 2' from my face. Now THIS was odd. I have always had PERFECT eye sight. No glasses or contacts needed. My sight actually bordered on remarkable and I could read things at great distances that noone else could read.
Anyway, next thing I knew I was at the doctor's office. Had my blood sugar tested. And came in at 570!
I spent the night in the hospital and the following week or so at home dealing with major highs and sickening lows. The news that I "had diabetes" and would have it for the rest of my life didn't really sink in for the rest of the summer. I missed performances, was given an unofficial understudy for even the smallest parts and hated every second of it. Few people understood when I couldn't physically make it onto the stage or when I had to lie down at a moments notice. But looking back, if I had been in their shoes, I wouldn't have been able to understand either.

I gradually began to feel better and started having more good days than bad. I got used to giving myself shots in public, used to timing pre-dinner shots at restaurants (after a few awful hypos when food didn't arrive on time), used to ignorant remarks, used to finger pricks and bruises on my abdomen from my amateur shots..... I bought books on diabetes and googled everything I could. But found surprisingly little help. Almost everything focused on Type 2. And the few things about Type 1 focused on children or on people who have had the disease since they were children. I found the best and most comforting information in the blogs of others going through similar things.

They inspired me to take the plunge into the diabetes blog world (which is actually quite large!). We'll see if I am able to follow through and post on a regular basis. I hope so.

I moved to NYC at the beginning of October ready to take the plunge and become a working actress!
I'm currently working (as a nanny)! But not as an actress. (Yet!!!) Soon enough I hope. :)

I look forward to this blog becoming therapeutic and to hopefully meeting more people who can relate to the daily struggles and triumphs that living with this disease creates.